When having it all isn’t good enough

“How are you?”

“Fine. How are you?”

The last time you heard that from someone, did you believe them?

The last time you said that to someone, did you believe yourself?

The Lie

I can take on more. I don’t need more sleep. My health is fine. My diet is fine. My relationships are fine. My finances are fine. My future is fine. Everything in my life is fine.

We value honesty so much in others, but we never seem to honor it within ourselves.

When did fine become our measure of happiness?

When did fine become good enough? Continue reading

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I’ve been avoiding you (and by you, I mean me)

Yes, that’s right. I have been coasting around you trying to make sure that you don’t notice that I haven’t been around. I’m talking to you over there who has been vying for my attention, hoping that I just finally come around and give you the time of day.

I know that you need me to give you my attention, to nurture our relationship, but I’ve just been so over you. I’ve been too tired. Too overworked. I’ve been going a million miles an hour and just don’t feel like actually giving you the time of day. Yes, I’m talking to you.

And, by you…I mean me.  Continue reading

These are all of the Epic Books I am Reading Right Now…ish

Episode 1: You Can Have it All

For most of my life, I was under the impression that I could only read one book at a time.

It was a constant internal battle of commitment. I love books so much!

Every time I found a new book that tickled my fancy, I just had to read it. So, in this dire situation, I had no idea how to control my textual addiction…I also had no idea that my commitment to commitment was actually resulting in complete and utter non-commitment. I’m pretty sure I went through a five-year streak where I averaged one book a year (and one of those years included a three-part trilogy…)

After years of struggling with one book to the next, this huge book nerd is here to tell you one of the most important things that I have learned along my paged journey: Continue reading

The Truth About What Happens When You Become a Minimalist

It’s funny to me how this happened. I remember hanging out at a bar, talking to my new friend Phil and learning about minimalism for the very first time. He talked about how much it changed his life, how little he owned now, and this new-found freedom he felt.

Well, here I am about six months later… I caught the bug.

Diagnosis: Minimalist in Training

I have significantly decreased my belongings to about 25% of what I used to own (yes, literally). And. you know what? I have to say, minimalism has made my life a lot less enjoyable in a lot of ways.

It was a few weeks ago that I stumbled on Erin’s post on A Welder’s Wife that talked about some of the same feelings that I have had and am currently processing: 10 Ways Minimalism Ruined My Life Forever. Here are some of my own takeaways… Continue reading

How Minimalism has made Me More Grateful

As you know, for the past few months I have been going H.A.M. simplifying my life. From downsizing my closet, to stripping down my kitchen, to limiting myself to one everyday purse (yes, that’s a thing) — I have been embodying the minimalist movement in my life.

I had no idea the impact that this journey would have on my psyche and how I interpret the world.

How minimalism has affected my attitude towards my home

Since I have significantly decreased my possessions, I have a new-found appreciation for the environment I have cultivated for myself. As I look around my apartment, I see the things that I have kept for myself that fit my cozy minimalist criteria: Continue reading

Your “It will get better.” Mentality: It’s not Working

I think we’ve all been there one way or another. We find ourselves in a situation that’s stuck. But, despite spending each day in a loop of stagnation and realizing that it is just that, we think “it will get better“.

Your

I used to be one of those people. I used to be the person that, even though all signs pointed to not going anywhere, still believed that there was something bright and shiny on the other side. No matter how hurt or torn down or trapped by the situation I was, I always found myself looking at the (usually pretty short) list of pro’s versus the (usually very long) list of con’s. A “glass a quarter full” kind of girl.

Continue reading

My 180: Sometimes Quitting is the Answer

A few years ago I was in a completely different place. I was working towards finishing my degree in psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee and heading towards a future with more school with a side of school and a dash of, you guessed it, school. I was on track to pursuing my PhD in Counseling Psychology and looking towards a life of research, students, and academic writing. It wasn’t until I finished my undergraduate degree, started my first semester of graduate school, and decided to quit that I truly felt like I was making a decision for me.

Making the choice to quit graduate school was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. I was essentially derailing any life plan that I had devised for myself up until that point and I put myself in a place where I had no idea where I was going. Continue reading

Who Am I: Me & All the Faces of Me

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Artsy photo of a mirror to illustrate self-reflection.

Over the years I have struggled with the same question: Who am I? Now, I know that is another one out of the big book of clichés, but I’m sure you’ve asked yourself that same question, even just once.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to reinvent who I think I am. Like everyone growing up, I have gone through the numerous stages of style and self-discovery that consistently lead to another reinvention of the one new and improved version of who I think I actually I am. One of the greatest parts of this journey has led me to believe something very important about myself Continue reading

It’s All About Me: Taking Time for (Thank) You

I call it craft time or writing time or cooking time or spa time or movie time or book time or sit next to my cat and binge Netflix time, but all the same it is what it is: Me Time. It is time that I dedicate all to me, something that I like to do by myself, for myself, and for the gain of no one else except for myself (sort of).

Now, I am an unmarried, female who lives alone (-ish, kitty counts), so getting some alone time isn’t that great of a feat for me. When someone asks if I have plans on my “Me Time” nights my answer is a well resounded “YES!”, because date night with just me (and some cameos of my cat) is a huge contributor to my overall mental and emotional health.

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My favorite doily and a proof of one of my favorite books, The Curated Closet.

This is all speaking from the perspective of someone who has established

Continue reading

Living as Your Other Self: You, Your Past, and Now

Sometimes life can make you feel like you’re messed up. Like the version of yourself that you are currently living as isn’t the actual version of you that you should be. That who you are living as isn’t the person that you were meant to be, but there is this other person in your place that just can’t seem to get out of this funk. I get that.

Five years ago I wasn’t myself and even two seconds ago I wasn’t myself, but I accept that who I am because of what I’ve been through is the self that I have been meant to become. Now this may sound like a silly riddle to you, but that’s what it feels like living on after life strikes you in ways that you wouldn’t have asked for.

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When life comes at you with a vengeance so great that you think you must begin to question everything, you do just that: Question everything. You sit and second guess your Continue reading